May I Offer You…Toast?

I am experiencing technical difficulties. Let me elaborate on that by saying that I am a fast typist. I can use a telephone, but cannot figure out a cellphone. If I am left with a remote and the choice of DVD, Video, Stereo, or TV channels NOTHING will appear on the screen but static, or sound only, but no picture. At this point I wander off to read a book. I moved into the attic mid-June and did intend to have an unplugged summer, but it is getting ridiculous. Because I was phoned and alerted that Sherman Alexie was going to be interviewed on a TV talk show I did manage to plug in the TV and screw on the cable cord, and voila! But that had to be divine intervention. It was Sherman Alexie after all. My stereo system is still in the cupboard as are the DVD player and VCR. I have no idea how to hook them up. What I’m using for music is a greasy ghetto blaster from a downtown Vancouver restaurant kitchen, salvaged before it hit the dumpster. The instructions for the super deluxe combination microwave convection oven are still in it, unread. My jewellery and penny candy are stored there for now. Every camera that has been passed down to me mysteriously stops working within a week or two in my possession. I have lost count of the times very computer savvy people have come over to rescue me at my keyboard to say, “Hmm, I have never seen this happen before.”

Why I am bringing this up is because I am embarrassed about the unfinished appearance of my blog. Tom and I really pushed to get this blog on the road with me, and succeeded. And I have leaned on Tom long distance since, and he has been just as affable and informative with his answers. But some of my questions are just plain dumb. And I am very timid around “machinery” and am not comfortable with trial and error. I would really have liked to have put up my profile for instance, but thought I would wait until I return to Fort Langley in case I make a mistake and can’t fix something. I do not want to come across sounding like Bachelorette #3 and not be able to erase it. And I promised you poetry! But I don’t know how to change the spacing on this computer and do not want all poems double-spaced, Lord no! Not for the continuous amount of beautiful poetry I am eager to share with you.  So I have neglected that category, too.

When I get back to Fort Langley, questions in hand, then I will learn how to play on this thing without frustration. Do not email me now Tom, offering assistance. You have done enough! (Thank you forever!) In the meantime, I can type. I can hit Save, or Edit, or Publish. (That is important.) I can sharpen a pencil, uncap a pen. Answer a phone (land line only). Use a hair dryer and a washer and dryer. I have just been taught my first dishwasher. I may learn the automatic garage door opener this week. Life is a challenge and this Luddite is rising to it.

But I have always, always been able to make toast.

Good Life
diane

2 Responses to “May I Offer You…Toast?”

  1. Thomasso says:

    Tom Here,

    Diane, I am not going to type out a stream of techno-babel on your weblog. Instead I’m going to point you in the direction that I go to when I’m hitting the brick wall–yes, I too get stumped even now and then.

    Diane, anything that is weblog related, please go to the Word-Press website, the community based people that created this incredible web tool that you have: http://wordpress.org/ Start there, and ask as many questions as you would like. Also, look through the Word-Press archives and FAQs pages too. Research, research and more research. Everything you need to know about weblogs–especially yours–is all there.

    Remember this: there is no such thing as a stupid question, only a dumb answer!

  2. Cylia Wong says:

    My darling Diane
    We all begin with the first step and you’ve taken several giant ones this last year. I am so happy for you. You’re back in the saddle and drifting off into the sunset. Am enjoying your writing. love, cyl

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